Yalla Bye

My last week in Jordan. Work was very slow this week, and up until wednesday the week was slowly creeping along, but when wednesday arrived, I had no idea where the week had gone. I spent the end of the week going through an extensive closing procedures, where I had to run back and forth to various departments to get signatures making sure that I didn’t have overdue books, or that I wasn’t trying to take my bed with me. It was weird making my departure so official. Today in my Middle East Seminar class one of the English teachers brought me a cake to say good bye, and during school meeting one of the counselors made an announcement about how sad they are to see me leave, but how wonderful it was having me in the office. I can’t get over how lucky I was to be in such a great office. Packing went by very smoothly, and everything fits in my luggage, rug and all. My day was full of goodbyes, and anxiety. I ended my day in the café in Madaba, the one where I spent my first weekend here. 

I’m flying out soon, but I wanted to get one last post in Jordan before I return home. I’m starting it out with a short list of the various things that I will miss and love about Jordan, and the Middle East in no particular order. I haven’t quite figured out how this post will end yet. 

1. Kanafeh - These amazing mouthwatering sweets made from shredded phyllo dough, wrapped around melted goats cheese, covered in honey based syrup and topped with chopped pistachios. I can’t get enough of them.
2. Labaneh - Fresh, savory yoghurt served with lots and lots of olive oil, sometimes red pepper, and eaten with fresh pita bread. 
3. Jordanians - All of the people that I have met here have been wonderful, even if there is a language barrier at times, the people will try so hard to communicate with you, and help you with whatever you need. The people are friendly and warm, and will immediately strike up a conversation with you. 
4. My Office, and Other Faculty at King’s - I was so lucky to be placed in an office with such amazing co-workers. The work can often be boring, but the people make it enjoyable. I’ve learned so much just from talking with them, about the region, the language, places to go, people to meet, songs to listen to, articles to read, and food to eat. I’m truly going to miss each and everyone of them, it’s because of them, among other people that my experience here was so enjoyable. I met so many great people, and made many great friends here.
5. Prayer Time in a Muslim City - No matter what time of day, or how busy the souk is, the moment the prayer is broadcasted it feels as though the whole area slows down just one notch. People don’t thrown everything down and begin praying on the ground, it just feels as though everyone becomes a bit more aware. From the souk downtown, King’s Academy at night, or when walking through ruins in the region, the melodic prayer makes the whole scene feel like walking through a dream. 
6. Cinema Review on Tele Monde 5 - On wednesday nights I would go over to a co-workers house and we would watch a French TV show that reviewed interesting movies. It was simple things like this that made my work week more interesting. 
7. The Region - Vast, historical, modern and conservative, a constant struggle towards becoming more like the west, while maintaining conservative Islamic, Christian and Jewish values. Endless ruins, breathtaking landscapes, delicious food, revolution, and the friendliest people ever, the Middle East is unlike anywhere else in the world. The countries change from border to boarder, Jordan, young and struggling towards a more open, democratic society, Syria, home to the oldest cities in the world, and currently plagued with a bloody uprising, Lebanon, full of bustling metropolitan cities, modern and old molded into one, and in the middle of so much reconstruction in hopes of recapturing its former title as the “Paris of the East”, and all of the issues in Israel/Palestine. 

This list can go on forever, in truth, there are very few things that I won’t miss, or look back on fondly about the Middle East; the bright blue cloudless skies, the harsh winds, the smell of Arab sweets, hummus, falafel, endless Roman ruins, the warm people, the faculty at King’s, the Dead Sea, the red desert, olive trees, citrus fruit, strong, muddy Arab coffee in the morning, and the sweetest hot tea after dinner.

I don’t know that I did anything that surprised me about myself, except for maybe my lack of “culture shock” when I came to the Middle East. I do know that I made sure to do everything that I could possibly do to get the richest experience out my semester here; I ran a half marathon from the Dead Sea to the Red Sea, took each and every opportunity to travel in Jordan, and saw just about everything worth seeing, because of this, I am leaving with no regrets, nothing that I should have done, or should not have done, because I tried to get out as much as I could, and if something didn’t live up to my expectations, it wouldn’t phase me. I think that is why I enjoyed myself as much as I did, because I didn’t allow negativity into my time here. I was here to learn, to live, and to experience life, I had no time to complain, and for that matter, absolutely nothing to complain about. I don’t like to admit this to myself, but when my family moved to Italy in middle school, I was not happy about it. Most of my time there, although I was secretly enjoying myself, I wouldn’t confess to it, because I wanted to be back in the states, playing with my oh so important 5^th grade friends, whom I haven’t seen for years. Like the saying goes “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”,  well it’s true. I think it’s because of that, I made sure to appreciate every little thing here, because I didn’t want to look back thinking, “if only I knew how much I would appreciate this experience later on”. 

My bags are packed, and I’m leaving for the airport soon, my room is empty, all but my laptop opened to pictures of my journey as I reminisce over the past four and a half months. I’ve said my goodbyes to most all of the wonderful people I’ve met. I’m currently trying to figure out the best way to type the way that I am feeling right now. I’m just a mix of emotions, anxious to leave, and almost excited to get home, sad to leave new friends, and happy to see old ones, which I guess is a good sign, after all, only wonderful things await me when I get back home - family, friends, graduation, summer, and I’m going to a college that I am in love with for the next four years. I’m ready to go, I’ve accomplished everything that I set out to do, and yet I’m hesitant to actually leave, I had it good...no, I had it great. I’ve had the experience of a lifetime, and I know this is just the beginning. I’ll be back to the region, hopefully sooner than later; there are people that I need to see again, and I have Syria and Palestine to visit still. I’m overwhelmed with nostalgia, and I haven’t even left, and yet, I have a sentimental longing, and affection for what the future will bring. My walkabout is actually over. 

I wonder how the Australian Aboriginals felt at the end of their walkabout, was it hard for them to return, did they feel nostalgic when they reminisced on their time spent in the outback, where they excited about returning to the village a “man” or scared to think that life would never quite be the same as it was? I'd like to think that the two of us shared some common experiences, at least in what we saw in ourselves, pushing our limits, experiencing life in unfamiliar territory. I think the Aboriginal and I both discovered the same thing on our walkabouts - it doesn't actually end when we return home, it never actually ends.